| Enter away messageLike a stream that flows into the sea,
I am lost for all eternity.
Ever since you took your love away from me.
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| I absolutely, 100% despise winter.
Nothing good happens when it comes; ever.
I am so thoroughly depressed it's hard to explain.
It's probably worse that I beat myself up over the fact that I really don't have anything to be so upset over.
I'm a fool to allow myself to be hurt so badly by one person, and to believe that same person actually meant so much.
But, how am I supposed to feel when people say "It's about time," or something else to that effect?
It's like, "Wow, thanks for completely disregarding how much I love that person!"
And I will never understand how things deteriorated so abruptly, without me even realizing it.
For now, however, I am continuing to exist. It's not good, by any means, but I'm managing. I've lost a significant amount of weight, I'm always tired, and every day I break down.
I'm holding on, but I still can't figure out why. There has to be something, though. If there wasn't, I know I'd be gone... I just wish, so badly, that I had any ambition to succeed or to live a fulfilling life.
I am terrified by what the future brings, because, more often than not, it's bad in the end.
At least I'm a really good pessimist.
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| Well...
At least I'm trying?
I fucking want IHOP.
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| Augh I need to make more friends in the area...
Especially now that Rick is going to be really busy with work. :[
Yeah I'm getting sick of always doing the same thing every day.
And I'm sickly which sucks. I haven't been sick since late winter/early spring or something, and I forgot quite how much it sucks.
Everything I taste or smell or see makes me want to throw up. Rawr.
To top it all off I'm up at almost 3AM since I haven't been able to rest.
Ahhh! I wish I could just like.. Be knocked out until tomorrow morning. That would be good.
Ok yeah I should get off my computer I really feel crappy. :|
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| i am so
goddamned angry
ALL THE TIME.
i feel as if i'm about ready
to just kill someone.
i'm never violent. ever.
but now i want to beat the living shit
out of most everything.
i never used to do that, "punch your pillow to relieve stress" shit.
but now i have to so i won't actually punch someone's face??
i need to caaaaaalm dooooooown.
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